


A Vast Expletive

by yesfir



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen, Karkat Cries A Lot, Last battle fic, M/M, Multi, Not Epilogue Compliant, Original Universe, Post-Canon, Sadstuck for like two seconds, Terezi Pyrope/Vriska Serket Moirallegiance, Trying to fill in the gap kind of thing, happy endings all around, laughs in homestuck fandom, not fix it fic but it might as well be, there are sloppy makouts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 12:31:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16197599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yesfir/pseuds/yesfir
Summary: He holds on as if he can keep doing it forever, even though he knows he’s going to have to let go soon. He listens to Dave’s uneven breathing and pretends that he can always follow where he goes.(In which two last battles - one chronologically and one narratively - take place, time is weird as usual, Karkat cries in every scene he’s in, some asshole gets to choke on a Welsh sword, a lot of romantic partners reunite, the plot loops around on itself fairly neatly, and an expletive reaches across time and space and saves the world.)[Not epilogue compliant - I mean I wrote this before it came out so that should be obvious.]





	A Vast Expletive

**Author's Note:**

> Another shorter fic finished while I work on the next chapter of my longfic, because sometimes you need a palate cleanser. Also, to write canon angst melting into fluff.
> 
> EDIT: Ah yes, that feeling when you think that you have reached the end of relevant canon, and then suddenly an epilogue appears out of nowhere and completely josses what you just wrote ( ՞ਊ՞) Truly homestuck is the fandom trolling gift that keeps giving. But yeah, this is how I imagined it before anime villainy, fascism, seriously unwanted "redemption" and some absolutely harrowing ships happened to all of us. I'm okay with it tbh.

It’s useful, the way that Trollian can be synched up between devices regardless where they are relative to each other in time. Roxy set it all up in less than half an hour, calling it ‘easy peasy’, though she could do nothing about how her presence makes the timeline and viewport feature almost completely useless.

As the humans go off to battle against the iteration of Lord Skulldouche that’s been pestering John recently, it’s only sensible to make sure they have devices which will allow them to report back once they’re done. Regardless of how this is ‘supposed’ to most definitely be a victory - at least according to Rose, and who will argue? - they all know that victories don’t necessarily come without a price. And it’s hard enough to have to stay behind, even if John’s zappy powers ought to mean the wait hopefully won’t be too long.

They all know it has to be the humans that do this. They only had one troll with high enough power levels to join them, and Vriska is still MIA. That’s how they all stubbornly think about it, even Karkat. Any version of whatever a ‘Jegus’ is you might care to mention knows that she gets right up his cartilaginous nub, but he still wants her to be alive. If nothing else then for Terezi’s sake. It’s been hard for her these last years.

She’s standoffish now, leaning against a wall with her face turned away, not that it actually means she can’t ‘see’ what’s going on. She came back from her expeditions into the Furthest Ring to see the humans off, but she’s not really interacting with anyone. Karkat doesn’t know what he should be saying to her, if there are any words to bridge that particular aching gulf, so he just leaves her be.

Rose and Kanaya are just standing there with their arms around each other, murmuring quietly, and everyone makes an effort not to hear what they’re saying. Kanaya is definitely crying, a strange and uncomfortable concept for Karkat in ways he can’t quite put to words, but which he suspects comes close to the human idea of ‘family’. For whatever reason, each carefully controlled sob feels like it’s slowly ripping at the seams of the world, showing something terrifyingly fragile and painful underneath.

Dave clears his throat, shifts awkwardly, and fuck, they’re both so bad at this. They’re getting better, but that’s not saying much. Karkat doesn’t know what the fuck he’s supposed to do with the urge to shake Dave in aggravation, to gently console and pacify, to intervene with the dangerous path he’s on, and most of all to kiss him until everything around them goes away.

Human love is a terrible affliction to happen to you. It plays merry fucking hell with all your quadrants.

He can’t make up his mind, so Dave does it for him, wrapping his arms around him right in front of everyone else. They don’t often do things like this in front of others, not even after years together. On any other day Karkat would make a show of chewing him out for it, and their friends would probably laugh at him, and John would definitely make a stupid remark. Instead he can feel them all averting their gazes as if the two of them are painful to watch, and he doesn’t even bother trying to hold back the tears when they come. They’re loud and they’re wretched, bubbling out of him uncontrollably like something is sick inside him, like his body is trying to rid itself of poison. He holds on as if he can keep doing it forever, even though he knows he’s going to have to let go soon. He listens to Dave’s uneven breathing and pretends that he can always follow where he goes.

There’s warm liquid on his neck. Unlike him, Dave cries without so much as a sound. Like so many of his ways of expressing emotions, fear of loss comes out muted, held back. Not actually controlled, just subdued by years and years of trying not to show any weakness. It’s an incongruous habit for someone so genuine, so honest and so emotionally needy, but defense mechanisms can be like that.

He’s come so far in these last years, to be able to cry like this at all.

They can do nothing but stand like that until they’re both cried out, but at least time is not an issue. He can see the red glow around them, the frozen bodies of their friends, and knows Dave is slowing it down just for them so the others won’t have to wait. It’s the first time he’s used his powers in so long, and that’s a a scary thought right there. He’s going to have to use it a lot pretty damn soon, as much as Karkat knows that he heartily loathes it.

There’s the strange broken-chord sound of time returning to normal speed again, and then they _do_ kiss. It makes him want to laugh and it makes him want to cry more and it makes him furious that it’s such an amazing kiss, so soft and sweet and perfect, because a kiss like that deserves more than to be a shitty goodbye. But here they are.

“In the words of the ancient and venerable Terminator, bequeathed onto the masses on an Earth long since fallen from relevance to everyone except those determined to wrestle memes from dead civilizations and who also watch some other movies than endless romance schlock... I’ll be back,” Dave says, the quotidian rambling coming out a lot more subdued than usual. Speaking of defense mechanisms. Even so, it’s a promise.

“Of course you will. I’ve already surrendered myself to the inevitable chagrin of knowing that I will never fucking get rid of you.” His own voice doesn’t hold steady, but damn it, what’s the point of even pretending that he’s not scared. No matter how powerful Dave is - they _all_ are - what the humans are about to do is just undeniably heroic. The risk is always there.

Dave just nods, and Karkat knows that’s all he can bring himself to say right now. So he squeezes his soft human hands with a last sigh, then backs off. He wishes he could say, ‘I love you’, but he’s afraid of anything that will make things harder for Dave right now, anything that might shake his determination even slightly. Besides, they don’t actually need to say it anymore. They both know.

He still wishes he could say it. Whether they are needed or not, the words are important.

They’re ready to go, only hesitating before the inevitable, when Terezi finally pushes free of the wall. She marches past all of them up to John, grabbing him by the front of his shirt and backing him up until his back is pressed against the wall. Well, that’s a lot more blatant than she’s allowed herself to be before, but who can blame her? Hate or pity, pity or hate... in the end, it’s still something precious.

She leans in close to John’s face as he squirms feebly in her grasp, hands half lifted as if to shove her away. Karkat expects her normal sharp, nasal voice, but it appears to break on contact with the air, crumble into a wretched whisper that is still far too raw to avoid hearing.

“Fix this.”

John looks like he’s been slapped, like something painful from a long time ago just surfaced from whatever depths it had been buried in. “How...?” he whispers.

“Seer of Mind,” she replies cryptically, but John seems to know what she means. His eyes widen, and there’s something like anger and something like grief and above all a terrible determination there.

“Dick move,” he says, managing a half smile, and for a moment her sharp teeth flash in a brief grin.

“Thank you. I tried.”

Then they kiss too, and a part of Karkat’s brain notes distractedly that she has no idea what she’s getting into, if she thinks she’s getting a simple kismesis. But most of his mind is occupied with yet more tears spilling down his cheeks as he thinks please, _please_. Don’t let her lose more than she already has. Please.

Their time is up. Not because time actually matters, but because if they don’t go now, if they linger for even a second longer... they’ll never bring themselves to go.

 

* * *

 

It feels like forever. He knows that the chat client will work in step, he _knows_ that, and the battle probably won’t be over quickly. But still, it feels like forever. With every second, it feels less and less likely that they’ll hear anything at all.

TT: Fuck.  
TT: Hold on. the bastrd broke my left hand, but Jane is healing it s I can type.

Orange text means Dirk, and at least two of them are alive. No matter how much Karkat stares at the message, that’s the only information he can wring from it. He knows he ought to just wait until he can get a proper status report, but...

CG: IS EVERYONE OKAY?  
CG: PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK JUST TELL ME THAT EVERYONE IS OKAY.

There’s a pause. Far too long for the answer to just be yes. Kanaya covers her mouth with her hands, breath whistling between her fingers despite her efforts to calm it.

TT: No.  
TT: I do not know the status of everyone.

He stares at the screen, and for his part Karkat isn’t sure if he can breathe at all. Something appears to be clenching his chest, slowly grinding everything inside him together into one hot, choking sludge. Terezi’s nails are digging into his shoulder.

CG: DIRK WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?  
CG: PLEASE.  
CG: JUST TELL US WHAT THAT MEANS. WHAT DOES “NOT KNOWING THE STATUS” ENTAIL?  
CG: I’M FUCKING BEGGING YOU HERE.

Another pause, and the longer he takes the more Karkat is utterly goddamn certain what it means. Something has happened to Dave, and probably at least one of the others as well. He knows it, and yet he cannot actually process it until Dirk confirms it. His hands tremble over the keyboard; he wants to keep pressing. He wants to rant angrily into the void like in one of his stupid recursive memos, and maybe that will drown out what he knows will come next.

Instead, he clenches his hands into fists and waits.

TT: Something happened.  
TT: He had some kind of juju, went on about it being the ultimate weapon given to him by his denizen. It looked like a glowing little house shape, like the game logo etc.  
TT: When he used it,  
TT: I don’t fucking know what happened.  
TT: They disappeared.  
TT: John, Rose, Jade, Dave.  
TT: All four of them disappeared into it, and then he banished the juju somewhere.

The world is a blur of tears, and next to him Kanaya lets out a wretched little noise, dropping her hands in her lap. On her left hand her wedding ring seems to glow, bright as an accusation, smearing across his vision. There is a hiss behind him, and then the noise of Terezi’s cane stabbing into the wall, easily puncturing the plaster.

Didn’t he always know that it was all too good to be true? How many times had he woken up in the middle of the night to Dave’s sleeping face next to his, only to think that this couldn’t really be happening. Not to him. Nothing so good, nothing so _right_ could actually be his.

But even though he must’ve thought that a thousand times, realizing he was right still feels so monstrously unfair. Compared to Dave’s, his own lifespan was always destined to be pathetically short; that’s the deal when one of you is a god and one is not. So why couldn’t they at least have been given that short time? Why - and fuck, he knows that it’s a selfish thought, but why is it suddenly _Dave_ leaving _him_ behind?

Then suddenly Terezi is elbowing him out of the way, not even bothering to log him out as she starts typing.

CG: WA1T  
CG: YOU M34N L1K3 TH3 TH1NG JOHN S41D H3 SHOV3D H1S H4ND THROUGH TO G3T Z4PPY  
CG: TH3 TH1NG VR1SK4 W4S BR1NG1NG TO TH3 B4TTL3F13LD  
CG: TH4T TH1NG  
TT: I never saw it myself back then, but yeah, sounds like it.  
TT: John seemed to recognize it right before he got sucked in too.  
CG: 4ND D1DN’T YOU S4Y TH3R3 C4N N3V3R B3 MOR3 TH4N ON3 OF 34CH JUJU? TH4T W4S WHY YOUR PUPP3T W4S “3MPTY”, R1GHT???  
TT: ...  
TT: That fucking puppet.  
TT: Let’s not talk about that puppet.  
TT: Except to say the fucker sure as fuck ain’t empty anymore.  
CG: 1 DON’T 4CTU4LLY G1V3 4 FUCK 4BOUT TH4T PUPP3T R1GHT NOW  
CG: TH3 PO1NT 1S TH4T TH3 3V1D3NC3 STRONGLY SUGG3STS TH4T 1T W4S TH3 S4M3 D4MN TH1NG  
CG: H1S ULT1M4T3 W34PON 4ND TH3 ULT1M4T3 W34PON 4G41NST H1M, TH4T 1S WH4T TH3 LOR3 S41D  
CG: TH4T’S WH4T VR1SK4 S41D  
CG: HMMM  
CG: W41T

Terezi lets go of the keyboard, a look about her like she is about to crackle with electricity, or maybe snap into a thousand razor sharp shards. Like she’s so alive that it’s painful. Karkat doesn’t dare to move where he sits, still leaning awkwardly out of her way, tears streaming unchecked. What the fuck is going on?

Terezi takes her glasses off, and he catches a glimpse of her fiery red retinas before she screws her eyes shut, leaning her head in her hands. As she breathes out slowly, shakily, a mint green glow rises like a pale mist from her skin. Mind powers at work, then.

Karkat has never been able to do anything like that, not in the game and not since. No flashy lights, no hovering symbols, no revelations. He’d honestly thought himself disconnected to his aspect, on top of being the most generally power nerfed player in their session. Kanaya’s talk with Echidna had made him question that assumption, but it’s only through steady and persistent work shaping the new troll society on Earth C that he had started to realize the truth. That’s not how the blood aspect works at all, at least not for him.

Maybe if he’d ever achieved God Tier... but he doubts it. He’d met God Tier versions of himself, and apart from of course being raging bastards, they had to say the least been cagey as fuck about it. He suspects they’d been able to do shit-all with their abilities too, in the short span they had them.

Because it’s a gentle aspect, and it’s also an uncompromising one. It gives no visions, no universe-altering powers, no means of breaking or mending, killing or resurrecting. All it does is... connect. Across the span of years, between sessions, across universes and most importantly from person to person. He can’t read minds or hearts, but what he can do is hold on. He can nurture the connections that exist, he can somehow make them stronger, in some intangible way that he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to explain.

He can make people be... better to each other, maybe not _good_ but at the very least better than their worst. He can love the things that truly matter to them, the things that make them people in each others’ eyes rather than strangers, and he can love them so fiercely that they somehow become inseparable from the person. That way, he can create bonds that’ll last no matter how far separated people become, or what shape the separation takes. Anger helps, for some reason.

And right here and now, with the unbearable pain of unrealized sobs stuck in his chest cavity, and with a scream of loss and rage jammed so hard into his throat that it may never go away... he knows what he can do. It’s a little thing, maybe not important at all, but it’s the only thing he has ever been capable of.

He takes Kanaya’s hand in his, and at first he thinks of her fist connecting with the back of his head right before she went off to battle the Condesce. It’s still humiliating, but he holds on to the idea that she had been trying to save him. That she’d needed him alive that badly. Then he thinks of how she’d sat up late at night doing extensive research on how human proposals worked. He thinks of the tears in Rose’s eyes when Kanaya sank down one one knee, and her laughter when she was solemnly asked if she wanted to “human marry” her. He thinks of Jade in her bridesmaid’s dress, straightening Rose’s tie. He thinks of Jade asleep on the sofa after a long night’s movie marathon, John carefully tucking a blanket around her shoulders. He thinks of John stealing Dave’s shades to take goofy selfies, zapping around his house to stay out of his grasp until Dave finally managed to pin him down and take them back.

He thinks of Dave curled up next to him in their bed, chattering excitedly about their next big excavation project, and realizes how hard he is crying when he starts to feel his own lips go numb, black spots swimming in front of his eyes. Even so he tries to focus on the connection there, holding the neat loop he’d made in his mind, feeling the connections within it spreading out like veins, tying all of them together in one way or another.

He reaches out and places his hand gently on the back of Terezi’s head as, finally, he thinks of Terezi, placing her at the center of the loop. Kanaya stitching new scalemates for Terezi. Terezi and Rose teaming up and beating everyone else in card games on the meteor. Terezi and Dave drawing shitty art together. Terezi getting gently scolded by Jade for licking her plants. Terezi and John blatantly flirting and then denying it. And his own arm around Terezi’s shoulder when she’d come back from yet another mission into the Furthest Ring, despondent and tired. He thinks of watching the stars go pale overhead in silence, a silence made deeper still by the absence of Vriska’s voice.

For a moment, her light suffuses his hand, and he forms all of his anger into one word, one thought, and tries to hold on to it.

Then Terezi draws in a deep breath, the glow fading from around her. She looks exhausted, and for a moment she leans into his hand. Then she slides her glasses back on, cracks her knuckles, and bends over the keyboard.

TT: Pyrope?  
TT: Are you still here?  
TT: Karkat? Anyone? Not to be that guy, but we’re kind of stuck in this shitty place. Some suggestions would be nice.  
CG: W3’R3 GO1NG TO H4V3 TO ST4ND BY  
TT: Ok.  
TT: I mean, not that we can do anything else. Without John’s zap powers, Dave’s time powers or Jade’s space powers, we’re pretty much fucking stranded.  
TT: We could try to experiment with Roxy’s void shit, but she says that it’s not an exact science and that does not inspire confidence. Sounds like we could end up just about anywhere. Not to mention that we’re chronologically displaced as well, and she has no idea if she can do something about that.  
CG: NO, NO 3XP3R1M3NT4T1ON PL34S3  
CG: L3T YOUR 4SS3S ST4Y PUT  
CG: TH4T 1S MY ORD3RS 4S TH3 ONLY S33R NOT CURR3NTLY OCCUPY1NG 4 LOST JUJU  
CG: 1F WH4T 1’M HOP1NG 1S TRU3, YOU N33D TO ST4Y WH3R3 YOU C4N B3 FOUND  
CG: 1F NOT  
CG: W3LL, W3’LL D34L W1TH 1T  
CG: FOR NOW, LOG OFF 4ND 4W41T FURTH3R 1NSTRUCT1ONS  
TT: Got it.

There is a momentary flicker on the screen, as just for a moment the viewport manages to cut through Roxy’s is Void powers. Dirk is wearing his usual stoic expression, but his shoulders are slumped with exhaustion. Half his face is a mass of horrific bruises, his shades badly cracked, one eye swollen completely shut. Apparently Jane hasn’t had time to heal more than his hand yet.

Jane is in the background, hands bright with blue-white light and hovering over Roxy’s slumped form. She seems to have momentarily lost consciousness, which is probably why they can see them at all. A trickle of blood is running from her slack mouth down her chin.

Jake is on the floor next to Dirk, head awkwardly propped in his lap, breathing as if he’s run a marathon. His eyes are red, and there are fresh tear tracks on his cheeks. His right hand is clutching a handful of Dirk’s cape as if his life depends on it.

TT: Oh right.  
TT: We won. Well, sort of.  
TT: We’ll tell you about it later.

In the background there is a groan, a cough, and Roxy’s eyes snap open. The viewport blacks out. A moment later, Dirk logs off.

 

* * *

 

They are aware of time passing where they wait, or at least Dave is. Ages drag by, too many years to count or even comprehend, even for a Knight of Time. There are no words, no sense of space or bodies, no light, no way of communicating. Just the knowledge of not being alone to keep them from slowly going insane.

At least to the human mind, there is very little difference between two hundred years and two million. However long they’re actually there, the relief at the first glimpse of light in the chthonic darkness is the same. Though very little has retained its meaning in their sealed state, the concept of freedom stirs them from their slumber like little else can.

He can hear a door opening.

Then the light is suddenly blinding, searing into their still sluggish minds. It all comes back in one crashing, sickening chord of colors and noise. The abrupt spatial awareness is the worst part, causing Dave to reel, leaning forward and bracing himself on the knees he suddenly has again, trying desperately not to be sick. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Fuck this shit. He’s clenched his eyes shut in self-defense. There is the unmistakable sound of retching next to him as someone else loses the battle. His own throat clenches in sympathy.

Then there is suddenly a voice, one he’d honestly though he’d never hear again, and he thinks distractedly that it’s an awful first voice to have to hear after an eternity inside a goddamn juju. 0/10, would not recommend.

“OH MY GOG, you’re all uuuuuuuuseless! You don’t have time for that! KILL HIM! _KILL HIM_!”

One has to say this for Vriska’s piercing, godawful voice, though. It’s like getting kicked right in the brain via the eardrums, which might be just what you need when you’re disoriented as fuck and need some directions. It’s easier to obey than to tell her to shut the fuck up, certainly. So when they all look up to find the looming, eye-searing monstrosity that is Lord English, they don’t hesitate.

Jade makes a noise like a distressed dog next to him as they take off, and Dave glances at her. She’s real. She’s right there. Holy shit, they’re free. She still looks pretty miserable, though.

“Green sun... collapsing...” she pants, her face looking clammy. Oh, right. Far above, like a disapproving green eye against the cosmos, hangs the black hole Terezi had described. It must not be pleasant to suddenly have her First Guardian powers back, but at the exact moment of them getting torn away.

Rose’s voice is steady and cool right behind him. “John, Jade, you need to distract him. Get some distance and throw everything you’ve got at him, Jade. John, just keep moving around... he probably hates you the most, after all. I’ll try to hit him with my magic when I can, but mostly I must focus.” She draws in a deep breath, and they’re all bathed in the honey glow of her Light. “Dave... wait for my signal.”

He nods, hefting his sword. He’ll only get one shot at this. Better make it count.

Waiting is excruciating, he’s never been any goddamn good at it. Fuck having secret Welsh powers and being the only one who can actually kill the bad guy, that only means you have to stay put and watch him wail mercilessly on your friends while you wait for an opening. But at least the ghostly green light of the collapsing sun that seems to be hurting Jade is getting at that big bastard too. There are occasional flickers in the aura surrounding his body, moments when the thick menace filling the air seems to flag minutely.

Someone out there definitely fucked shit up for him. Good job, doomed timeline Calliope.

When it happens, it’s almost too fast for him to catch. John barely dodges a huge, terrifying blow, crying out as a fist glances against already broken ribs. He zaps out of existence the nanosecond before he gets crushed. English remains crouched for a moment, slow to react as Jade pummels him with the debris of the cracked battlefield around them. He looks like he will shrug it all off once again, but right then two things happen.

First of all, a second golden light comes to life right behind Dave. Secondly, the light around English flickers just as the last wave of rocks come crashing down.

“Bad break,” Vriska grunts behind him, voice strained.

Rose flares, as if she has become a small sun herself. “Now, Dave! _Now now now!_ ”

He’s already moving at the end of her shout, winding loops around him so fast that his head is spinning. The light spilling out of the cherub’s mouth blazes around him, trying to hit him, but every time he comes close he jumps a couple of seconds back, until it’s a vortex of Daves closing in on the bastard all at once, flickering in and out of time. He’s getting frustrated, distracted, lashing out at random, getting erratic with his attacks. Dave darts forward, thinking this has to be the moment, and suddenly Lord English is looking _right at him_.

Oh shit.

Well, he tried.

“Not again, asshole!” John shouts, appearing right behind the skull monster and pulling his own godhood right over the bastard’s eyes. His mouth falls open in surprise, and Dave has no time to reflect on how his own death just got retconned, as he shoves his sword right down the cherub’s throat.

“Eat my... legendary... piece of shit,” he grunts, actually feeling the blade break down there but only shoving it further down with sheer determination. His enemy reels. For a moment Dave meets John’s gaze, sees his eyes light up with a triumphant grin. Then everything explodes.

The light is familiar; he’s seen light like it before, on top of a skyscraper with Dirk’s blood still warm on his hands. It’s also instant and blinding and it _burns_. Dave is flung clear by the first blast, singed and concussed, and he has enough presence of mind to know he can’t possibly survive this. In fact, judging by the way the light contracts and then comes sweeping outwards, destroying everything in its path... they’re all completely fucked. He can’t move, can’t get his mind right to time travel, and as the light descends on him, he closes his eyes and lets it happen. He feels bad about leaving Karkat behind, but he’s happy that he’s safe somewhere out there. He doesn’t want to die, but since he’s going to, he’s not going to regret a damn thing that came before.

“ _Yoink_ ,” says a strangely familiar voice right behind him, and a couple of strong arms wrap around him, tearing him away from the explosion. The universe blurs with speed, and yep, _now_ is apparently the time to throw up. It was pretty overdue at this point.

“Oh gross, dude,” says the voice in his ear, followed by a strange, purring giggle. “That’s what I get from savin’ your ass? Again! ...Kind of.”

He can’t speak, only gulp for air as the detritus of the Furthest Ring zips past. That was two moments of thinking he was going to die in less than twenty seconds, and it was not a fucking nurturing experience.

“Oh look, Rose is waiting fur us. Looks like she got out in time.” Everything screeches to a halt, and Dave flops forward, head lolling tiredly. When he has the energy to look up, Rose is indeed hovering in space in front of him, holding an almost unconscious Vriska in her arms. A moment later Jade appears, empty-handed - right until she does that weird thing with her hands, and John grows into full size out of them, looking about as singed and miserable as Dave feels. She neatly catches him with an arm around the waist.

Dave might be fucking out of it, but he can still count. And he’s definitely coming up with one boss fight participant too many. “Hold the fuck up,” he rasps, his throat raw with bile. “Who’s holding me, then?”

Jade is bright red, strangely enough. John squints blearily. “You? Sort of.” He coughs, and then winces with the movement. “Davesprite? Is that you?” he asks, as if a creamsicle orange flying bird Dave can somehow be mistaken for someone else.

“Not anymore,” says the mystery voice, laughing. “I’m Davepeta now. Mice to meet you, John! I mean, obviously purrt of me has already met you, and gotten kind of sick of your company on that dumb boat - I bet you felt the same way, I was kind of a downer! But let me tell you, right now? _Everything_ feels new.”

Vriska groans, burying her face against Rose’s arm. “I leave all of you alone for two fucking seconds,” she pants, “and you let this atrocious bullshit happen _again_. What even is that? Some monstrous amalgamation of my dead friend and the mopey doomed timeline Dave bird ghost? This is even worse than the Rose thing. You know what? I’m so done with humans.”

Dave feels inclined to agree with her, as he stares slack-jawed at his own face, subtly altered by unfamiliar features into something a bit more feminine and a lot more inhuman. He - she? - smiles, showing off a full set of carnivore teeth. “That’s a bit ungrrrateful, isn’t it? Not that I really care, but still. How you feline there, bro?”

“Did you just... catpun at me?”

“Yup, I sure did and I’ve got to say... it felt awesome! That’s not an answer, though.”

“...Okay, you know what, I’m not going to question jack shit right now. I’m alive and out of the Green Sun-slash-skull monster collapse zone, and that’s good enough for me. Thanks, Davepeta-”

“Sprite squared, technicatly. But no need to be so furmal.”

“-right.” He turns to John, who has curled an arm protectively around his ribs and is gasping with pain as the adrenaline slowly wears off. Despite having a huge burn all the way down her free arm, Jade is watching him with concern. “I’m sorry, John, but like... you’re gonna have to get us out of here. I mean, fuck, we’re definitely not supposed to be here, chronologically speaking. Vriska over there is still just eight sweeps old, and the spacetime around here is going completely bananas with that black hole distorting the Furthest Ring, not to mention those cracks are all over now and... yeah, you’re the one with the zappy retcon bullshit.”

John nods with a small groan. “It’s okay. I know.” He draws in a shuddering breath, then makes a slightly sheepish face. “So, uh... where are we going?”

“Back where we came from, naturally,” Rose says. “The others are still stuck there without us, remember?”

“Oh! Right, durr, that makes sense.” He manages a strained smile. “That’s what we need Seers for, huh?”

“To have some basic sense and tell you average idiots what to do when I’m not doing it?” Vriska drawls, even though she’s obviously barely clinging to consciousness. She must’ve really overstretched her powers there. “Probably.”

“And, uh...” Dave nods at her. “What are we doing with her?”

John blinks, then makes a face. “Well, I mean... we can’t just _leave_ her here, right?”

“We probably shouldn’t,” Jade chimes in. “I mean, Terezi never found her, and that could _either_ be from her just dying, or her not being here anymore, right? The only other alternative is that Terezi does find her this time around, and things get changed. And after all the stuff we’ve been through, we probably don’t want to mess with the timeline now.” She smiles. “So the preferable option out of the three is taking her home with us!”

“Oh wow... how niiiiiiiice of you to not just... dump me in space...” She’s slurring now, and after a moment she goes limp in Rose’s arms. Rose grimaces.

“I directed her to try to steal all the luck she possibly could leading up to that moment back then. But the Thief class is highly active, so she had to cut it short midway so she didn’t end up with all of it herself. I think the recoil did quite a number on her.”

“Amazing,” Dave murmurs, propping his head up agains Davepeta’s constantly blinking chest. “She got knocked flat by having to be unselfish. That’s the Vriska we know and tolerate.”

They all laugh, even if it makes John wince again, what with having played punching bag for the green muscle monster. “Okay, maybe...” He tries to steady his breathing. “...maybe getting back to Jane is a great idea right about now. But when we get there, we all have to be really quiet, okay?”

 

* * *

 

They watch, hidden in the shadows, as the battle against Caliborn plays out. It’s hard not to intervene, because there’s no guarantee it’s going to work out alright. But Rose conveys in a strained whisper that their involvement would be a disaster, so they do as they’re told. Lucky Vriska is knocked the fuck out by now.

By the end of it, Dave is left with a sick feeling at the pit of his stomach. That fucking puppet. They’d known already that it was evil, but seeing the creation of the Lil’ Cal he’d known and loathed was something different than just knowing. Imagining that shitty tool, hideously merged with Arquius and half a dead murderclown, watching him in his sleep as a child... it makes him want to shower in boiling water and scrub his skin until it comes off. Or just travel back in time and set fire to the abomination, doomed timeline or not.

Jade makes a motion to go out and join them when it’s over, but Rose holds up a hand, indicating it toward Dirk. He’s already pulled out a captchalogued computer and is typing away with one hand.

“Don’t ask me why,” she murmurs, “but it seems like something that happens during this conversation he’s having is important to the outcome of things. We should wait until he’s done.”

Dave can finally stay upright on his own feet again, and he shifts impatiently where he stands. “Rose,” he hisses, “he’s telling them what happened. That we just went missing. You know, talking to people including your _wife_ , who will think you’re gone for good?”

“And your matesprit too. I know. And if I didn’t think it was for a good reason, I’d already be out there.” She sighs. “At least they won’t have to think we’re gone for too long, Dave. We’re just going to have to trust them to deal with it.”

Easier said than done, when he remembers Karkat’s face right when they left, the scowl of determination that failed in every way to hide the naked fear there. He _is_ strong, and Dave of course trusts him, but his strength lies in vulnerability and caring. He doesn’t want to do this to his heart.

But he trusts Rose, too.

 

* * *

 

Terezi refuses to explain what they are waiting for, in the two minutes from when Dirk had logged off until the computer suddenly chimes again. They all stare at it, transfixed, as if it’s a highly dangerous thing. Then Karkat glances sideways at Terezi. “Are you...?”

She shakes her head, her skin a waxen teal-grey with sudden anxiety. “I can’t bring myself,” she rasps, and he realizes how desperately she’s been holding herself together up until now. Karkat looks at Kanaya, who only mutely shakes her head, her lips dotted with green from where she’s bitten right through them.

He’s going to have to, isn’t he? For them. Well, fuck this.

The text on the screen is the eye-searing pink that means it’s Roxy typing.

TG: omg  
TG: OMG  
TG: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGGOMGOMGMOGMOG  
TG: guys guysssss holy shit guys  
TG: you gotta  
TG: fuuuuuuuck  
TG: :) :) :):):):):):)  
CG: LALONDE YOU’RE TYPING MORE LIKE AN IDIOT THAN USUAL, STOP IT.  
CG: JUST TELL US WHAT’S HAPPENING.  
TG: omg im sorry its just  
TG: guuuuuys it’s so  
TG: its okay now  
TG: :)  
CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?  
CG: ARE THEY...  
CG: DID YOU FIND A WAY TO BRING THEM BACK?  
CG: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET THAT BE IT.  
CG: LALONDE PLEASE TALK TO ME.  
TG: lol but ur not giving me any time to reply  
TG: calm ur nubby horns future son in law ;)  
TG: and nooooo not exactly but  
CG: *BUT WHAT*??????  
TG: theyre all here  
TG: all four of them  
TG: also that vriska girl tho she’s fainted  
TG: and uh someone who looks like dave but also like a cat who might be a girl???  
TG: weird kind of reminds me of someone but idk who rn

“ _Vriska_?” Karkat exclaims aloud, because though his mind is completely overcome with relieved disbelief already, that one still came completely out of left field. Next to him, Terezi curls up and starts weeping, the deep and wracking sobs of someone who has held them in for way, way too long. Kanaya is curled around her with tears in her eyes, laughing and crying and hugging Terezi close to her chest.

CG: VRISKA? FOR REAL?  
TG: ys  
TG: they say they saved her from the battlefield idk its still chaos here  
TG: and hugging karkat theres so much hugging  
TG: im literally typing w my computer on top of rose rn <3  
TG: dirk couldnt reply first bc he’s busy being lifted into the air + hugged by dave  
CG: OH GOD.  
CG: HE’S REALLY THERE?  
CG: ROXY HE’S REALLY THERE AND ALIVE? YOU PROMISE?  
TG: omg of course silly  
TG: what kind of complete asshole would lie about that to his boyfriend  
TG: hes got some burn wounds that jane will treat when shes done w john but hes fine  
TG: he’ll be coming home soon <3

 

* * *

 

There’s yet more hugging once they do, of course. Kanaya is faster than any of them, picking up Rose and twirling her around until the both overbalance and fall over in one laughing mess of tears and kisses. Someone has brought Vriska around by then, and she saunters nonchalantly up to Terezi like she hasn’t been gone for _years_ \- well, apparently she hasn’t from her perspective? - and then shrieks with laughter as her moirail tacklepounces her to the ground.

Karkat just finds himself standing frozen, and for a moment Dave does the same, mouthing a greeting that he can’t seem to force past his lips. Then he solemnly pulls his shades off, handing them to whatever the technicolor abomination next to him is - Karkat will just try to process that later, thanks.

“Hey. Will you look after these for a while? I don’t have to tell _you_ to guard them with your life, right?”

“Fur sure,” the creature giggles, and Karkat thinks _NOPE_ , definitely not dealing with that right now. And then he’s suddenly pressed against the wall with no idea how he got there, Dave’s lips brushing against his.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” he mumbles, voice catching just a bit too much to be quite as smooth as he’s trying to be.

Karkat rolls his eyes, even as he finds new reserves of tears to cry after what feels like a whole day doing nothing else. He tangles his hands in Dave’s hair, pulling hard in the way that always makes Dave’s knees go weak, enjoying the small keening sound he makes. “Not if I kiss you first, asshole.”

More kisses follow, and it’s hard to tell who is kissing whom after that first one, not that it matters. What matters is Dave’s lips, and his laughter in between kisses, and his hands on his face, in his hair, trailing his neck, slipping under his shirt. What matters is that he kind of smells like shit, and has apparently gargled Dirk’s shitty orange soda before coming here for some reason, but that these are _real_ things which Karkat is sure he wouldn’t imagine if this was just some dream that’s too good to be true.

They’re both breathing kind of heavy when they’re reminded of not being alone by John shouting, “GET A ROOM!” almost exactly at the same time as Terezi screeches, “GET A PAIL!” They break apart slightly, embarrassed, to find their friends doing some weird combo of glaring, grinning and blushing at each other. Vriska’s eyebrows are practically disappearing into her hairline as she glances between them, but she wisely says nothing.

Everyone else is kind of in a big pile on the floor, which Karkat and Dave for the sake of public decency decide to join. They can get back to the sloppy makeouts later. Preferably after Dave has had a shower, Karkat thinks, even as he gathers him up in his arms with a contented sigh.

They talk long into the night. Jane’s father and the Nannasprites bring them food and cake, having hovered in nervous silence downstairs all day. Terezi apologizes to Jane’s dad about stabbing a hole in his wall, and he just shakes his head with a faint smile, gently ruffling her hair and offering her seconds. He’s not actually half bad at making troll food, for a human.

Slowly they try their best to sort out the sequence of events, the way things somehow worked out against all expectation. The juju, the subsequent beatdown, Jake apparently randomly turning into some sort of overpowered dynamo and beating Caliborn... or not so randomly, Karkat thinks as Jake grins sleepily and snuggles closer to Dirk. What happened after with that creepy goddamn puppet - they pour one out for Arquius and all toast his sacrifice. Jane soothingly pets Davepeta’s head and lends them a handkerchief.

Then Rose takes over and explains the battle she had directed back in the Furthest Ring, with a few interjections from Vriska to explain what happened before that point. Karkat listens quietly, absently stroking Dave’s face, feeling proud and protective and overwhelmed.

“It’s weird,” John says at the end of the story. “I, uh- That is, it didn’t happen like that at first. There was definitely a moment where the skull monster dude turned around and got Dave right in his blast and he just... disappeared.” He squirms a bit where he lies, the shadow of the recollection passing across his face. “And I mean, obviously I had to go back and fix that, you know? It was a super heroic death, and there was not even any body left for anyone to revive. And apart from losing my best friend... without Dave and his sword we were fucked.”

Dave turns his face against Karkat’s chest, making a small discomforted sound. After all this, he’s still not comfortable with the whole reluctant hero narrative. Karkat gently rubs his back, trying to breathe and remind himself that freaking out over something that _almost_ happened is weird.

“And... well, I dunno,” John grimaces. “I didn’t have time to ask Rose, or Vriska, or anyone. I just had to fix it. But I didn’t know how, exactly. Like, which was the exact moment I needed to tweak, and how to do it without just dying before I had a chance.”

Terezi groans. “Wow. You’re useless without people thinking for you, did I ever mention that?”

“Oh shut up.” John swats her almost casually, frowning. “But that’s the strange thing. I thought about doomed timeline you making me that list, and how I had those words to think about to change moments in your life. And obviously you weren’t there so that wouldn’t work, but suddenly... suddenly I knew which word would work for me? The one that would take me to the right moment and place and fix it all. It was weird.”

“What was it?” Terezi demands, clearly intrigued despite herself. Vriska props herself up on her elbow. Rose tilts her head. The room holds its breath.

“Uh... it was ‘fuck’.” John grins sheepishly. “I have no idea why.”

Karkat buries his face in Dave’s hair and laughs until he cries, laughs until he can’t breathe, laughs until Dave sits up, worried, and asks if he’s okay. He manages a small nod before pulling him close and choking the laughter with a kiss. “It worked,” he manages to squeeze out when he has to come up for air or die. “It actually worked.”

Terezi is laughing too, beating on a nonplussed Vriska’s chest and shaking helplessly. Everyone else is looking variously confused and alarmed, although a light seems to be slowly coming on in Rose’s eyes, and from the way Kanaya is glancing between Karkat and Terezi, she’s working it out too.

It’ll probably require explanations for the rest of them later, words which Karkat still isn’t sure he has for what just happened. That’s something Future Karkat can deal with, though, and the smug bastard quite frankly deserves it. At present, Karkat kisses Dave and laughs, knowing it’s all going to be okay. This time he’s certain.


End file.
